Mar 19, 2019
“What Could Prevent Me from Doing IBC?” [Part 2/5]
A discussion of obstacles to implementing the Infinite Banking Concept. Obstacle #2: “My spouse isn’t on board.”
My spouse isn’t on board
To continue with the marital theme, the lack of spousal support in your decision to implement the IBC is a deal-breaker. It happens to be the case that, on average, men are more likely to take up an interest in the IBC than women. That means the calls and emails I get come from husbands, not wives. Though I myself am not married, if the financial business has taught me one thing, it is that IBC will not work unless both spouses are on board with this strategy.
This does not mean that your spouse must be as educated on the IBC as you are, but they should absolutely understand some basic features. How detailed that level of understanding must be will vary from couple to couple and will depend on the level of trust, the balance of authority over financial decision making, and the size of the policy or policies, among other factors. I wish there was a clear answer to the question, “how much does she (or he) need to know?” If there was one, I’d share it. The closest I can get is, “enough.” Your spouse must understand enough.
Consider a reverse scenario. Your spouse presents an idea to you that you’ve never heard of because he or she read a book you’ve never heard of that’s written by a guy you’ve never heard of. And it’s not just any idea or any book. It’s an idea about money (read: your future) and a book about how to radically change — to some degree — the way you’re going to go about managing that precious resource. You might empathize with any skepticism.
What’s the solution?
First, see post one. If you have read Nelson’s book (maybe more than once), you’re more likely to be able to explain the basics of what you’re thinking of doing.
Second, if your spouse is really into you (ha-ha), he or she might even consider reading the book him or herself. One thing must be said for the married couple wherein each spouse decides to become skilled in the IBC: that is a financially formidable team. But please, don’t misunderstand me: I fully respect and appreciate couples who have decided jointly that one or the other spouse will manage the finances. That’s essentially heresy in the politically-incorrect, 24/7 news cycle environment, but my God doesn’t have — or need — a late night talk show on a major network, so I don’t care. And by the way, that might not entail the traditional approach where the man manages the money. I’ve seen plenty of instances where, though the male brings home the bacon, the female is the one who wisely stewards it (and vice-versa).
If this is your situation, then you — the spouse leading the charge on the IBC — have a proportionately greater responsibility to make sure that your loved one has got the essential basics down-pat and knows what to do to fill in any gaps in the event that you are unable to provide continued financial education. The loss of a spouse is brutal — I haven’t experienced it, but I have witnessed it — and the pain is only compounded with the addition of unnecessary financial confusion.
Third, it could be the case that point one (“I don’t like [or have time] to read”) applies to your spouse. If that’s the case, there are some other resources that, though they are no substitute, are better than nothing. I’m thinking of my and my business partner James Neathery’s book review of BYOB on YouTube and the Banking with Life DVD. Again, these do not replace a thorough reading of BYOB but they can help set the stage and might even cause your spouse to want to proceed with the book itself.
You wouldn’t buy a house (or get married, to continue the metaphor) without your significant other’s enthusiastic endorsement. That’s the same level of energy you want to aim for with the IBC. Is IBC as sexy as a house or a storybook wedding day? No, so you might not achieve that level of excitement, but it’s a good goal to aim for. And even if you miss it, you may be surprised to find that your efforts have succeeded insofar as he or she understands the essential features and knows what you’re getting into. Over time, his or her knowledge will expand with continued use of the policies. Especially — somewhere down the line — when it comes to, say, buying that new car with cash received from a policy loan or paying off that mortgage early, you may suddenly find that IBC enthusiasm you hoped for from the beginning.
